HOW YOU CAN BECOME A BETTER LEADER BY COACHING 10-YEAR OLDS

Neil Voorsanger

Having worked for great organizations, wonderful bosses, gaining wonderful skills and guidance from extraordinary mentors, I remember the year I had my greatest jump in leadership skills – coaching 10-year olds in our local soccer league.

THE PLEA: Many years ago in spring, I was just like any other parent, working 12-14 hour days, supporting my family, trying to balance family, work and good deeds. A friend called, “Neil, I am part of our soccer league and we need one more coach for our 10-year old teams this Saturday morning. Please tell me that you will coach!” I immediately explained I had played basketball and football, never soccer, knew nothing about it, but thanks anyway.
Three pleas later, OK. I immediately raced over to an English friend of mine who I knew had played soccer as a kid and pleaded, “Two days from now I have to coach 10-years olds in a soccer match. Please help me understand the keys to offense, defense, what are the essential rules to follow?” After I ‘pocketed’ 6-8 nuggets, I showed up Saturday for our first soccer match.

THE CHALLENGE: Saturday morning, wonderful day, immense soccer field, one ball and twelve 10-year olds running in every direction. Where are the parents? None. I was on my own, didn’t know the names of my kids, with the opposing team at the other end of the field. I walked over to the other parent-coach-referee and requested a delay of 30 minutes so I could "warm-up" my kids. He agreed.
Of course my team didn’t need a warm up since they were hanging upside down from the top of the soccer net, fighting with each other, and sulking in groups of 2 or 3. What I of course was to learn later was that there were eight teams in the league, the head of the league having selected the best players for his team; our team being the last team, got the runts, troublemakers plus the only two GIRLS.
Yes, this was long ago when girls didn’t play soccer and the league added these two girls to my team. When at the last moment the girls showed up, the boys moaned, “NO WAY we can win with girls!” So I lined all twelve at the goal line and had them race to the middle of the field. The girls were the fastest, all complaining stopped.

PLAYER ASSIGNMENTS: I asked them how many had played soccer. All had. I then explained as I watched them racing across the field everyone had wonderful talents but I needed them to separate themselves into three groups: (1) those who could "run like the wind” to disrupt the middle of the field, (2) those who were “lean and mean” to defend our goal, and (3) those who were “lean and tough” to score goals. Happily, they sorted themselves into these three groups. I then imparted the wisdom of my English friend in distilled success-steps so each group knew what to do (offense, defense, and middle field).
The soccer match began. Within minutes the other team scored their first goal and my entire team collapsed, arguing, blaming, screaming, a frenzied shark feeding. I called to the other coach, “Ok to have a 5-minute break?”

HOW TO WIN: I gathered my 10-year olds around me and explained the rules for playing:
First: “I don’t care who made a mistake, I want to know who played “smart” (I then pointed out what each member of our team did to play smart). Tim never gave up running even though he couldn’t catch up and then got the ball back; Mary got in front of the best player and stopped the ball; and so on.”
Second: “I never again want to hear what anyone did wrong I only want to hear from each of you what you did right.”
Third: “Every time we have a soccer break I will ask each of you what did we did right on defense, disruption, offense.”

KNOWING HOW TO WIN: Each week the opposing team was tougher and better. These matches were before cable TV, the how-to books; I had to get our team soccer-smart, fast! It was enormously helpful each week to have my English friend give me tips (he refused to replace me). For example, how to defend against the super star, how does our goalie defend against the player who has broken free, and so. Our first win, pure luck. Our second win, whatever luck left in our bag. Then we started winning because we knew how.
We played all eight teams, each week playing smarter and better, ending in second place losing finally to the best team. What was even more remarkable was that every one of our players arrived on time every week, I never had to discipline, never had to criticize.

LESSONS: I discovered that runts and troublemakers only act like runts and troublemakers until they develop the skills of winning. Those two wonderful girls became the best in midfield and on their own baked fresh cookies for us each week! So, were there any other lessons? I learned:
· Tailor the task to the abilities
· Demand that each player build the conditions for self-respect (then they are coachable)
· Embed the essentials for success
· Focus on what each player did right (so he/she repeats it)
· Each next time, up the goal to better and smarter
Later in my career I learned many other pieces to a winning formula but coaching 10-year olds was a fabulous start! And, oh yes, wherever my English friend is, thank you again!

© Copyright 2011. Neil Voorsanger. All Rights Reserved.